Unlearning Monogamous Conditioning: Reclaiming Love on Your Own Terms

Most of us were raised on a single relationship blueprint: grow up, find The One, fall in love, be everything to each other, and live happily ever after. From fairy tales to family dinners, school lessons to songs on the radio, the message is clear—real love is monogamous. Anything else is failure, or at best, a temporary experiment.

This is monogamous conditioning: the deeply rooted cultural programming that tells us there is only one right way to love, and that exclusivity is the ultimate proof of commitment. Monogamous conditioning often shows up in the form of the "relationship escalator"—the idea that successful relationships must follow a specific path: dating, exclusivity, cohabitation, marriage, children. We're taught that true love means sexual and emotional exclusivity, that jealousy is a natural (even romantic) response, and that if your partner desires someone else, something must be wrong. These messages are so embedded in our culture that we often internalize them without question, even when they create tension, shame, or feelings of failure. Unlearning these patterns is the first step toward building relationships that actually fit you.

But here’s the truth: monogamous conditioning doesn’t fit everyone. And for many, it creates more harm than harmony.

The Hidden Impacts of Monogamous Conditioning

Whether you currently practice monogamy, are exploring non-monogamy, or simply want more freedom in how you relate, chances are this conditioning has shaped how you love, what you fear, and what you expect from others.

Some of the common impacts include:

• Fear of abandonment when a partner connects with someone else.

• Jealousy framed as proof of love, instead of a signal to explore unmet needs.

• Shame around desire, especially when it extends beyond one partner.

• Believing one person should meet all emotional, sexual, and social needs—an impossible task that often leads to resentment or burnout.

• Guilt when exploring multiple connections, even when done with consent and care.

These beliefs can show up subtly, often disguised as personal failings, when in fact they’re learned patterns rooted in a cultural story we never consciously chose.

Why This Workshop Matters

We created this workshop, Monogamous Conditioning & Unlearning It, as a space to pause, reflect, and reimagine.

It’s not about being "against" monogamy—it’s about making your relationship choices consciously, not by default. Whether you choose monogamy, polyamory, relationship anarchy, or something else entirely, this workshop will support you in untangling internalized scripts and reclaiming agency over your relational life.

Through this workshop and gentle reflection, we’ll:

• Explore where monogamous norms come from and how they influence us.

• Identify internalized beliefs that no longer serve us.

• Reframe love, intimacy, and commitment in more expansive, authentic ways.

• Build community with others on similar journeys of unlearning.

Come As You Are, Leave With New Possibilities

This is for the curious, the questioning, the quietly frustrated, and the boldly non-monogamous alike. If you’ve ever felt like traditional models of love don’t quite fit—but you weren’t sure what the alternatives looked like—this workshop is for you.

Let’s rewrite the story together.

Join us and start unlearning what love was “supposed” to be, so you can build what love can actually become.

Info and Tickets